you wish i was your nanny

my promise, as your nanny:

i promise to not let your child have tantrums in public. or anywhere.

i promise to train your child how to ride public transportation without embarrassing you

i promise to jack other moms/nannies at the park if they mess with your child

i promise to teach your child about comic timing

i promise to teach your child to be kind

i promise to hug your child. a lot.

i promise to read to your child. i'll use different voices for each character, too.

also, i'll do the dishes.