how to be my friend, and other thoughts.

i've been thinking a lot lately about my feelings on friendship, family, the difference between friends and family (there are no differences) and how particular i am about who i spend my time with. i'm picky, but not without reason. i'm very confident in my abilities as a friend, and i have high standards for the people i call my friends.

i want to be with quality people who make me feel good. i want to have the most fun possible in any given situation, and that means not wasting my time with people who don't meet my friendship requirements.

if you want to be my friend, you have to be kind. genuinely. say nice things. mean them. be affectionate - really. be funny. not dick-joke funny. witty, quick, smart, charming funny. be smart. inspire me. if you can't stir my emotions, we won't last.

don't be a grouch. if you're in a bad mood, acknowledge it. then laugh at it. do the same to me when i'm unreasonably grouchy (read: often). love me even though i'm often melancholy and unreasonably grouchy.

be. funny.

don't be a kiss-ass. it's gross. desperation is transparent. if i'm not convinced that you're a good person within two minutes of meeting you, i'm moving on.

care about something, anything. be passionate about what you do. be real. have flaws. acknowledge your flaws. laugh at them. be honest, always, even if i get mad, but never be arbitrarily mean to others. say nice things to people.

be brave.

make me fall in friend-love with you.

be yourself. be weird and interesting and authentic. don't be afraid to love things. give me a hug.

for the love of god, be funny.

also, chew on this:

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

~ Neil Gaiman